Vicky is such a
by spangladesh920
Summary: Timmy decides to sing a very unflattering song about Vicky, and what happens you ask? Why it backfires on him of course! Oneshot, rated for language


_Summary: Timmy sings an unflattering song about Vicky, and guess what, it backfires! Rated for using the word "bitch" 51 times in one song (yes, I counted)! If you don't like that, then please don't read any further. If you do, then please, by all means, read on! _

_Disclaimer: I own nothing but my sick little thoughts. "Fairly Odd Parents" and all characters are owned by Butch Hartman and Nickelodeon. The song is a parody of "Kyle's Mom's a Bitch", which is from the movie "South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut". Those are owned by the geniuses that are Matt Stone and Trey Parker. _

Fourteen year old Timmy Turner stood at the bus stop with his best friends A.J. Phillips and Chester McBadbat, along with his girlfriend Tootie McDonald. He was pissed that his babysitter (and Tootie's older sister) Vicky had beaten him up again. "You guys, I seriously think that if Vicky got laid, she wouldn't be such a big, fat, stupid bit-."

It was at this point that Tootie interjected, trying somehow to defend her sister. In her mind, it was a difficult task, but the case could be made that blood is thicker then water…but not by much.

"Timmy, I love you with all my heart…but don't you finish that sentence!"

"Wellllllll…"

"Don't say it Timmy!"

"Wellllll…!"

"I'm warning you!"

"Ok, ok."

Tootie turned to the guys, "I love him so much, but I get so sick of him calling my sister a bit-" With that, Timmy came sliding back into view…singing!

_Weeelllll,_

_Vicky is a bitch, she's a big fat bitch,  
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world,  
She's a stupid bitch, if there ever was a bitch,  
She's a bitch to all the boys and girls._

Tootie was very upset at her boyfriend, enough to swear at him. "Shut your God damn mouth Timmy!" But that didn't stop him from going on…

_On Monday she's a bitch  
On Tuesday she's a bitch  
On Wednesday thru Saturday she's a bitch  
Then on Sunday just to be different,  
She's a super king Kameha Meha bee-utch_

"Come on, you all know the words!" Timmy yelled as Chester and A.J., along with other children that Vicky "babysat", or as they liked to say: tortured, began to sway with the music and sing along.

_Have you ever met my babysitter Vicky,  
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world,  
She's a mean old bitch, and she has stupid hair,  
She's a bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch!  
Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch  
She's a stupid bitch! Vicky is a bitch,  
And she's such a dirty bitch._

The other kids, A.J. and Chester included a "bitch!" just for good measure.

_Talk to kids around the world,  
It might go a little something like this... _

Tim first sings a verse in Chinese, then in French, Dutch, and then finally in a mock African language, before returning to English.

_Have you ever met my babysitter Vicky,  
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world,  
She's a mean old bitch, she has stupid hair,  
She's a bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch!_

The kids (except Tootie) sing along, before gasping at the sight of "Icky Vicky" standing right behind Timmy. Apparently, she had heard him singing, and she came to investigate why the twerp would be singing. She didn't like what she heard, and it showed. Tootie just stood there in shock, her jaw hanging in midair.

"Uh, Timmy!" Chester called, but Timmy ignored him and continued singing.

_  
Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch!  
She's a stupid bitch, Icky Vicky is a bitch,  
And she's such a dirty bitch!_

Vicky is getting more and more pissed off by the second. No one, and she meant, _NO ONE _ dared call her anything derogatory (well, besides "Icky Vicky", thanks to that damn Chip Skylark), especially a _bitch! _She just stood there, arms crossed and glaring at the jubilant Timmy as he finished singing.

_I really mean it,  
Icky Vicky, she's a big fat, fuckin' bitch!  
Big old fat fuckin' bitch!_

_Icky Vickyyyyyyyyyyyyy!  
Yeahhhhh, Chaaaaa!_

The rest of the kids just stood there, mouths agape. Timmy got up off his knees,

"What?" The kids didn't answer him.

"What you guys? It's not like Vicky is standing behind me, ready for the moment I turn around to drag me back to my house, and beat the crap out of me." When no one answered, Timmy got a sickening feeling in his stomach. He really didn't want to turn around, but as the old saying goes: "Curiosity killed the cat." Well in this case, there was a _very _strong possibility of a homicide.

Timmy turned around, and, no surprise, there stood a very pissed off Vicky!

"Oh hell!" was all Timmy could get out, before Vicky snatched him by the hair and dragged him, kicking and screaming, back to his house.

"Oh my God, she's gonna kill Timmy!" Chester yelled after the two were in the house.

"You bastard!" A.J. added quietly.

They all looked at Tootie, like she was going to stop Vicky. "What are you guys looking at me for? Hey, I love him, but I warned him. He's going to get what he deserves." she said with her arms crossed. The muffled sounds of things breaking, Timmy's screams for help, and Vicky's rants about respect came wafting out of the house.

**30 minutes later…**

Timmy limped back to where everyone stood. His clothes tattered, his left eye was swollen shut, his nose bleeding, his fattened lip making it hard to talk. His left arm was in a sling, and he was using a crutch under his right arm to support his weight. Everyone took one look at him, and busted up laughing.

"You could've warned me that she was right behind me you know!" That made everyone laugh all the harder.

"I hate you guys." was all that was heard as he limped off, with help from Tootie, who, despite not helping him during Vicky's initial attack, still loved him and wanted to help him in anyway possible. She tenderly led him the three or four blocks to Dimmsdale Memorial Hospital, where he had a "frequent patient" discount thanks to the various injuries he suffered over the years at Vicky's hand, to get his injuries attended to.

**The End**

_A/N: Ok, so I took my favorite scene from "South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut", and turned it into a "Fairly Odd Parents" songfic (with some added parts of course). I think this is seriously funny, but if you don't, I'm sorry. Read and review please.  
_


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